Pull it together and choose your first goal
Turn your vision into one clear goal for the next 3 months, and take the first step today.
One workbook for the whole course. This stage starts on page 17. Your trackers are at the back: New Life (page 28), BE, DO, HAVE (page 30) and money, time, energy and giving (page 32). Your 90 days start on page 34. Already downloaded it? Keep using your copy. Lost it? Download it again (a new copy starts blank).
- 1Pull it all together
- 2Your new description
- 3Your quick why
- 4Score your transformation
- 5Choose your goal
- 6Plan for the bump in the road
- 7Take the first step
1. Pull it all together
Over six stages your vision has grown. Before you write your new description, finalise what you’ve built.
Your three final pages
For each one, read your original answer and every row of its tracker. Then write the version that’s true for you now.
- My new life, final version (workbook page 18)
- My BE, DO, HAVE, final version (page 19)
- My money, time, energy and giving, final version (page 20)
Didn’t use the trackers? That’s fine. Work from your first answers and what you remember.
2. Your new Next Version of Me
Write your new description
Using your three final pages, write a vivid, detailed description of your Next Version of Me. Present tense, as if you’re already living it.
Next Version of Me exercise
Read your new description, then press play.
Find somewhere quiet, press play and close your eyes. Headphones help.
3. Your quick why
Goals that come from what you truly value are the ones you keep going with. This takes five minutes.
Three things, and why they matter
- From your final pages, pick the 3 things that matter most to you.
- For each one, ask: “Why does this matter to me?” Then ask once more: “And what does that give me?”
- Write that last answer in one or two words. That’s your why.
- If a why is about avoiding something (“not stressed”), flip it into what you’re moving towards (“calm”).
e.g. Sundays free → time with my kids → connection
Fulfilled Me exercise
Read your three whys. Then press play and imagine a life where you have all of them, in abundance.
Find somewhere quiet, press play and close your eyes. Headphones help.
4. Score your transformation
Score your new life, the probability you’ll achieve it, and how achievable it feels, out of 10 each.
Note it down: “My new life (7) <score>, Probability <score>, Achievability <score>”. Then compare with your Stage 1 scores. That gap is your transformation.
Look how far you’ve come
Over six stages you have:
- Focused your brain on the life you want, the person you want to be, and what you want to do.
- Made it specific, clear and familiar, and so less scary and more achievable.
- Got your human brain and your animal brain working together.
- Moved from “this is happening to me” to purpose, direction and choice.
- Found what matters most to you.
Acknowledge it. Celebrating isn’t optional in this method: it’s the dopamine that keeps the loop running.
If you find it hard to say what you want, if your goals often turn out to be for other people, or if your scores won’t move, What Really Matters to Me is for you: a short guided programme, in small steps, that digs into your deeper whys. Coming soon.
5. Choose your goal for the next 3 months
Why one goal? One goal gets all your focus. Progress builds on itself, you know what to do each day, and you can see clearly what’s working.
Why 3 months? New habits took about 66 days on average to become automatic in a well-known study (Lally, 2010). Three months is long enough to build the habit and see results, and short enough to keep it urgent.
- Comes from your final pages: your new life, your BE, DO, HAVE, or your money, time and energy.
- Gives you as many of your three whys as possible.
- Benefits you more than anyone else. Your first priority is you. (Parents: this is true for you too. Your children need you at your best, and they copy what you do, not what you say.)
Who is this goal really for? If no one else ever knew about it, would you still want it? If the answer is no, choose again.
State your goal and objectives
State your goal simply, specifically, and with a date. Then write your objectives: how you’ll get there. Each one action-based, specific, measurable, and with a date.
Example. Goal: get fit and healthy, in a way that lasts, by the end of 3 months. Objective 1: exercise for 30 minutes, 5 times a week. Objective 2: cut sugar to 30g a day over the next month. Objective 3: sleep at least 7 hours a night for the next 4 weeks.
6. Plan for the bump in the road
Picturing the dream is powerful, but it can also make your brain feel as if you’re already there, so it relaxes. Putting the dream next to the bump makes your brain see a gap it has to close. And deciding now what you’ll do when the bump comes means you don’t have to decide in the moment.
Your if-then plans
What’s most likely to stop you? Write a plan for each one, as many as you need:
If ……………… then I will ………………
e.g. If I’m too tired after work to exercise, then I’ll do 10 minutes before dinner instead.
Always include this one, because falling short is one of the commonest ways back to the old you: “If I miss a step or feel I’m not getting there, then I…”
7. Take the first step
One small action
Write down the very first small action towards your first objective, and take it today or tomorrow, while your brain is primed. It’s step 1 on your “Steps I’ve taken” page (workbook page 37).
Your 90 days
You’ve made your new life familiar. Now practise the road: your goal, your next step, and your bump. Your 90-day pages start on page 34 of your workbook.
Your daily goal practice 7 min
- Step into my new life30 seconds. A quick flash of your Next Version of Me. Who I am.
- See the goal done30 seconds. Picture the day you reach your goal. How does it feel?
- Rehearse my next step2 minutes. See yourself doing it: where, when, and how it feels when it’s done.
- Meet the bump, and handle it2 minutes. See it turn up, feel the old pull, then watch yourself do your plan, as your new self.
Before you press play, read your goal, your next step and your if-then plans. It’s also on the QR code on your 90-day plan page.
- Every day: do the practice and tick the day.
- Every time you finish a step: date it, then write your next one. Watch your step count grow.
- Every Sunday: steps this week, steps so far, your goal score out of 10, and the bump you met.
- Every 4 weeks: look back. Compare your goal score with today, and add an if-then plan for any new bump.
Missed a day? It doesn’t undo anything. Your plan for that is already written. Pick it up tomorrow.
Congratulations, your transformation has started. Keep going!
This course is educational and not a substitute for therapy or medical advice.